OLD-FASHIONED LOVE IN THE BRABANTE STYLE

On an early spring day, 72 years ago, the paths of Jan and Loes crossed each other, both only 19 years old. How did the first meeting go? “yes, damn it, I don't know anything about that!” Yes, that was just proate.” Jan and Loes got married at the age of 26 and had their first child at the age of 32. This was deliberately done for the reason that it was not self-evident at Loes' home to conceive a child. For Loes, sexual intimacy was not discussed at home. Especially with her mother. “It was a taboo, it was never talked about.” And suppose you had questions for which you were looking for answers? “You didn't have to ask, because you knew you wouldn't get an answer anyway.” This was not discussed among friends either. With Jan, sexual intimacy could be discussed at home. His cousins ​​were homosexual. So the family had a hard time getting out of it. Jan's niece was a lesbian. “She got married today, and the next day she got divorced,” Loes said. She married a man. She didn't dare tell anyone at home that she was a lesbian. This subject was less discussed in his niece's family. “A completely different mentality,” says Jan. Were there relationships within the family during the war? “Not that I know of,” they both indicate. “But they shouldn't see you either, otherwise you would be screwed!” Do you think there is a difference between then and now about discussing sexual intimacy? Both Jan and Loes certainly indicate that. Loes says again, “but certainly not at our house! Our mother will get something from it!” For example, social media did not exist at the time. The topics that fall under LGBTQ+ were known, but only among family and acquaintances.

What is intimacy for you? “Put a hand on my shoulder,” says Loes. They were not allowed to see more. We used to have a gate. When we stood in that gate for five minutes, several people shouted “Should I come and help!?”. And what happened in those five minutes? “Nice kisses! And every now and then it squeezed my ass!” Loes said. Mostly talking a lot, as much as we could! And agree on when the next ride was! Next ride? Yes, Loes said, when we saw each other again of course! “Of course you are thinking about something else,” Jan says, “but that wasn't there yet.”

What do you like about intimacy right now? Loes indicates the concern and cordiality. He makes my food, hands me my coat. I can't walk well. He takes over whatever needs to be done. "I have to pee". Says Loes. Jan says, “Well, I'd like to hold her for a while” and Loes starts giggling and says “what year was that?”. Won't you allow that, Loes? “Yes, you should do that while laughing,” she says. You're all laughing. But then you're stuck and you can't just get out!” And I still have to pee!”

Did childbirth affect your sex life? “There was no sex before marriage. Only at the point we lived together.” So things weren't that exciting at home? “Nooooo no, not at home. It was actually exciting that you didn't get blamed for that,” said Loes. What would happen if you were caught? “Nooooo, I don't know yet,” says Loes. When we were expecting, Jan went to Loes's house to tell us. “If you had seen that face and that reaction then, you would have had enough for 10 years.” Jan indicated that Loes' mother was not happy. Actually the pregnancy was not possible. She was afraid that all the attention was on the child. Out of jealousy, her mother would actually have preferred Jan and Loes to move in with them. While she herself was one of 14 and my father was one of 19, Loes indicated. She claimed us, Jan said. She eventually accepted the birth of their child. Her father was very happy! Childbirth; Oh Jan! “Those ears, look at those ears!” and the sister, a real director nun, looked at the child. “Then tell me what it is,” she said to the couple. “He's been working on that for six years,” Loes said, giggling. The child had red earlobes. “What beautiful ears she has.”

At what age did you have the most active sexual contact? “The first years before the birth of our first and only child.” They are both each other's first bed partners. “We have always stuck together. There was room for it, so it fit well." What kind of place? Yes glue. Yes, what kind of glue? Yes.... Said Jan. Were there contraceptives in the past? “No, it was leaving the church before the singing.” It has always gone well. There have been no accidents.” “We have never used contraceptives.” And if this were the case? Jan was still studying and working late, to which Loes replied; “That doesn't bother me, I didn't think it was a big deal,” Loes said. But of course the two were already happily married.

What is your fondest memory surrounding the subject of intimacy? “The time when we were consciously trying to have a child. We became closer in person. Much more intimate than before.” This was only at home. Not outside the door. Not maybe on the beach? "On the beach?! What is that?! We had no beach! We had to go to the canal.” But that's a shame!” “You're not going to sit by the canal with your suitor, are you?!”

If you were kissing outside and a police officer came, you would be pulled apart. Or he said “should I help?” And then you got the receipt in the mail at home!” “We shouldn't have that!” Everything outside the home always had to be done secretly. At home they were never allowed to see or know anything. You were wise enough not to say anything at home, because then you would have to have bumblebee lessons. “At our house you could talk about it calmly,” said Jan. “But this was absolutely not possible at Loes' home. “Jan's sister had to get married, our Nell. Her husband worked at a gas station, and a child was on the way. They could not make ends meet on the income from the gas pump alone. So they sold cookies for extra income.

How do you look back on your sex life? “Yes, that's over,” Loes says clearly. When was the last time you were active? Was that before or after ovulation Loes? Laughing, she answers “in between!” “We've had it, done!” Was it just in bed or somewhere else too? “most of it” in bed,” they giggle. “We'll keep the rest a secret.” But the bed and beyond? “slaaoopeenn” Loes joked. “We made it as exciting as we found it exciting.” “We hug each other a lot,” Jan says quietly.

“And then the sisters come,” says Loes. “And yes, then his penis is taken care of and rinsed and done. And people are also washed from below.” “No, that's my gut!” says Jan. “I also have to ask for the jug 10 times, otherwise he won't hear it.” Why is your bed apart? “Yes, when he has to pee, he keeps waking me up!” “Times are very different now! Gullie eats everything!